I get motion sickness. A crazy boat ride. Any car ride when I'm not the driver. Swinging. Even a gliding chair. Ooo... my head feels light, my tummy whoozy. That's what it felt like when I was around a drinking person today.
I could smell the alcohol on the person. Slight slur in the speech. A hint of instabilty in the swaying walk. Oh my God!!! I remember that. I let myself get to that point at least once a week. And being around it today made me feel sick. The thought of picking up a drink even to smell it was repulsive.
Today was easy. I found zero attraction in that state of being. I realized my tendancy to relieve stress or run from problems by using alcohol is steadily being replaced with a desire to be present in my situations and learn to handle them and respond appropriately. I don't always know how to do that, but I then just admit, often to others around me, that I don't know how to handle something at the moment. But then I pray about it and seek advice or read scripture or books and I figure it out. With God's guidance and grace I am handling the things I used to run from.
Today it is under my feet.
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