It's been over 9 months since I stopped drinking. There have been some days that are harder to resist temptation than others, but I can't say that overall it's any easier. I have had to maintain a strong commitment to this change in my life. So many days I wrestle with my habitual thoughts of having a drink.
It's summer now. Time for beer and icy drinks and relaxing and partying. Not me. My husband has mentioned that I'm not as fun as I used to be. I immediately remember the expense of that fun, which is foreign to him. Drinking became a nearly constant inner battle. Just one drink. Ok, just one more. Not today. I can go a whole day. Well, I went a whole day. Now it's okay. What do the kids think of me? Will my husband notice how much I drank today? If they only knew, they'd be so ashamed of me....
Maybe I'm not as fun, but I'm more joyful, happier, prouder and more content knowing that God is filling my needs instead of me filling them with alcohol. I'm more consistent, more stable, more true to my real self. It may not be any easier, but I am resolute.
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