January Blues

I get the January Blues every year.  The holidays seem to disguise the on-setting depressing winter that comes with freezing temperatures and short days.  At least my daughter was born in January, 2 years ago.  That gives January a new light.  Still, after all the fun, kids home, off work, new things, eating, presents...  BAM!  I've gain 5 pounds, it's ugly outside, bills need to be paid, reality slaps me in the face and I freeze.  All my coping skills that have gotten me through holiday mayhem, can't handle the day to day.    These are the kinds of days where, in the past, you may have found me with a drink in my hand before noon.  I may have been able to fool myself on other days, but drinking before noon screams that something is not right.

I've been thinking about it lately.  It's tempting.  I remember the warm fuzzy feeling after the first drink.  So tempting.  Thankfully, I still have a strong resolve.  I will not drink.  I cannot drink.  One drink will set me back.  I've quit drinking many times and one drink always leads down the same road.  I will not travel that road. I will not.

I wish there was no alcohol in the house, but my husband won't give it up.  He can have one drink and stop.  After watching a TV drama with him that talked about heredity tendencies to be an addict, I realized he doesn't really understand much about it.  I don't think he's willing to learn.  I have to be strong, with God's amazing strength, and do this for my future, no matter what.

I will make it through this depressing January learning other ways to handle the doldrums.  I will do this.