This is how my days used to go...
Wake up with a headache. Take care of kids. Work at home business or work at part-time job or do countless chores while entertaining and taking care of children. Usually by noon, and many times earlier, I'd start to think about when I'd have my first drink. A beer with Tylenol would ease my headache. Some vodka would take the edge off my stress. If I was at work, I'd be looking forward to having a drink when I got home. Questions I'd play through my mind:
When will I have to drive?
How much have I eaten?
How long until my stomach is empty?
Will the kids be around?
Do I need to put some alcohol in a place that I can get it and the kids won't see?
What alcohol do we have?
And on and on....
These are questions that alcoholics play in their heads every day. I don't know if I actually was an alcoholic, but I sure had many of the behaviors. I rarely got drunk or to a point where anyone would even notice I was drinking. Though one time I was drinking before I went out with friends, then only had one glass of wine while out. One asked, "Are you sure you've only had one glass of wine?"
If I didn't stop and nix alcohol completely, I believe I was on the road to much worse things.
9 weeks, 5 days sober.
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